Mom-It Monday: Potty Training Tips & Tricks

Hello and welcome back NEO Homeschoolers! It's time for another round of Mom-It Monday, and this week, I'm focusing in on those of us with toddlers and preschoolers... the ever-dreaded potty training ages. Potty training is a daunting task, both for the parents and the child, and when you're unsure of how best to approach it, potty training begins to feel like an insurmountable mountain of a task. As a former preschool teacher and nanny turned mama, I've been on both sides of the equation... the child-care professional assisting in the process and the mama who thinks she knows what she's doing until her child throws her for a loop. facepalm So, let's break this down a bit. Today, I'll share with you my best tips as a child-care professional and then add in my personal perspective as a mama in the throes of potty training with her own child.

Potty Training Tips & Tricks

First and foremost, let's look at some of the signs your child may be ready to start trying to use the potty.

Signs Your Child is Ready

1. Consistently dry diaper after nap. This is a great way to know your child has some bladder control (essential for successful potty training), except if your child is like Maureen and decides they're done with naps at the age of 2. If your child is like Maureen, keep an eye out for longer periods between diaper changes during the day.
2. Shows an interest in the potty. One of the best things parents can do when the time for potty training is approaching is to set out a potty in the bathroom for their child to see and even play with. Pretend play is a great way to help children get comfortable with what the potty is for. This is a step I missed entirely as a mom, and it came back to bite me. Allowing Maureen to see the potty regularly and even play "potty time" with her toys helped significantly once I actually did it. I only wish I'd set out the potty and allowed the pretend play to happen sooner. Allowing pretend play with the potty will also help to encourage that interest in using the potty that is so important to potty training.
3. Ability to pull pants up and down independently. I didn't realize how important this step is until I became a mom. There's something about the independence of pushing their pants down and pulling them up again that helps kids feel far more confident in their ability to successfully use the potty. Unfortunately, my hubby and I initially began trying to potty train Maureen before she was able to do this, and we ended up giving up pretty quickly because using the potty was too much of a frustration... both for me - I do the majority of the potty training in our house. - and for Maureen.
4. Recognizing bodily functions & cues. Another item I missed as a mom, I now realize that in order for potty training to be successful, it's essential that a child is able to recognize their own bodily cues and functions. At just over 3 years old, Maureen is only just beginning to recognize when she's peeing or pooping which leads me to believe I was trying to force potty training too early when I followed my preschool teacher instincts and began trying at 2.5 years.
5. Communication skills. While this may seem obvious, it's often overlooked, especially by parents looking to drop the diaper costs quickly. The ability to communicate and communicate clearly about their needs is essential for young children to be successful in potty training. As a former preschool teacher, I know that a lot of childcare centers push starting potty training at around 18 months old, and while introducing the potty at this age is appropriate, as a mama, I feel it is entirely inappropriate to begin potty training at 18 months since most children that age are only just beginning to develop the vocabulary necessary for clear communication.

Potty Time Tips

Okay, so your little one is showing the aforementioned signs that they're ready to start trying to use the potty. Let's look at some tips to help make potty training as positive as possible.

1. Keep it positive. As hard as it can be to stay positive during potty training, especially when the accidents seem to never end, keeping the mood light and positive will help your child feel encouraged to keep trying. I know from personal experience that getting upset and resorting to forceful measures (e.g., taking toys or shows away) only exacerbates the feelings of frustration and resistance in a child. When we initially tried to potty train Maureen, we resorted to forceful measures when it seemed she was resisting, and all it did was make her resistance that much worse.
2. Establish a routine. Routines are essential with any child, but especially with a toddler or preschooler who is learning to use the potty. Knowing what to expect during their day will help them to feel more confident and calm as they begin the journey of becoming a big kid. Come up with a routine and talk through it with your child. Let them know that said routine will be put in place with the onset of potty training, and as always, do your best to be upbeat and positive about it. This is something I struggle with because when we're hanging around the house all day, I find routine really difficult to maintain. I am someone who enjoys the ability to get out of the house and have things to do... not always possible with a potty training little one.
3. Make potty time fun & keep it short. Keeping books in the bathroom or having a game on your phone that your child gets to play while sitting on the potty will help make sitting on the potty feel less boring, and help it become something your child will want to do. I use a game called Khan Academy Kids (Link to Khan Academy Kids on my resources page... click here.) with Maureen, and while she used to play it whenever, it's been reserved for sitting on the potty since we began trying to potty train. Limiting potty time to 5-10 minutes will also help. No one wants to feel like they're spending all day sitting on the toilet. That would be boring and discouraging! I read somewhere that young children take no more than 5 minutes to go pee, and no more than 10 minutes to go poop. I've tried to keep that in mind when encouraging Maureen to sit on the potty.
4. Pull-up over their underwear for going out. Obviously, in the early stages of potty training, it's important to stay close to home, but there are going to be times when going out is necessary, such as going grocery shopping or going to a doctor appointment. For those occasions when leaving the house is necessary, putting a pull-up over your child's underwear is a great way to reduce the mess while still allowing your child to feel the wetness. Unfortunately, this trick does not always work. Maureen has no qualms about sitting in her wet underwear with a pull-up over it, never saying a thing. I learned pretty quickly that this is not a trick I can use with my kiddo. sigh Hopefully, it'll be more successful for you.
5. Let your child lead. I know, I know... This sounds so counterintuitive! Why would you let a child lead in a process that is brand new to them? That makes no sense. Hear me out though because, I promise, there's a good reason this tip is on here. Having been the mama influenced by over a decade of potty training as a childcare center preschool teacher, I was initially all about doing potty training in what I viewed as the "standard approach." Maureen didn't have a say in the matter; she was 2.5 years old and therefore it was time to potty train. This "standard approach" backfired on me ...massively! Maureen not only resisted using the potty, but began treating her underwear as a diaper, refusing to say anything when she was wet, even if she recognized it. After taking a month off, I tried again with the "standard approach" and again, it backfired. It was at this point that a dear mom friend of mine shared some insight with me. She'd just gone through the potty training process with her son, and had spent the better part of 3 months fighting with him about using the potty. She got so stressed out by it all that at one point, both she and her son were in tears during potty time. Not exactly what potty training should look like. After that, she gave up... entirely. She resorted to keeping her son in pull-ups and only encouraging the potty, not forcing it. Four months after his third birthday, it clicked, and my friend's son is now completely potty trained. No stress, no forcing it, and no tearful fights over using the potty involved. Maureen's pediatrician reinforced this insight recently when, at her 3 year well-check, I asked about potty training, and the pediatrician's immediate response was, "Don't force it! It'll happen when she's ready." So, when it comes to potty training, I think it is important to let your child show or tell you when they're ready. It gives them some control over the situation and makes the experience far less stressful all around.

Conclusion

Potty training is an intimidating task as a parent, no matter how many kids you have. Teaching a child to use the potty is hard work, for the parent and the child. My hope in sharing this post is that I'm able to help at least one other frustrated and discouraged toddler/preschool mama out there feel less alone in this process. My sweet girl is now just over 3 years old, and still in a pull-up. sigh It's discouraging for me because I'd love to be done with buying diapers and pull-ups for Maureen, but I also know that forcing it just makes resistance worse, so I'm trusting God for the outcome. If you're like me, and ready to ditch the diaper expenses with your toddler/preschooler, hang in there. Trust me, I'm right there with you, lol. Well, that's it for this week's Mom-It Monday post. Thanks for reading! If you're new here, I hope you'll consider subscribing so you can get all my new posts directly to your email inbox. If you're a long-time reader, thanks for being here! It's your continued support in reading my posts that allows me to keep producing content to draw other homeschool mamas in. No matter how long you've been reading my content, I hope you'll come back on Wednesday for another new post. Bye!