Mom-It Monday: Combating Comparison Fatigue, Homeschool Edition

Hello and welcome back NEO Homeschoolers! Today, I want to talk about a challenge that faces us all: comparison. If you're like me, you often find yourself scrolling social media throughout the day, mindlessly looking at someone else's highlight reels while your kids are busy with independent school work, chores, or even just some free play. You might also find and follow homeschool influencers on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube, just to get some inspiration for keeping your kids' homeschool experience exciting and interesting. And, like me, you may have found yourself comparing the way you do things in your homeschool with what you see on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, TikTok... You get the idea.

The truth is with today's technology-driven, social media saturated world, it's really hard to escape the feeling of being almost in competition... of comparing our lives with the lives of those we follow on social media. As homeschool moms, I think it affects us even more because not only do we compare ourselves as parents, but also as teachers and, let's be real here, it's hard enough being a homeschool mama without feeling like we're in competition all the time! Comparison fatigue is a quiet, but very real drain on our emotional well-being. More often than not, we don't notice it because it operates in the background... in those nagging questions like, "Am I doing enough?" Or, "Did I make the right choice in executing that lesson? Should I have picked a different curriculum?" If you're like me, you are all too familiar with these nagging questions that like to buzz around inside your head, slowly sapping your confidence and joy. One day you wake up feeling energized and enthused about homeschooling, and before you know it, you're looking around wondering how all these other homeschool moms stay so organized and "Pinterest worthy" while you barely get by.

In this post, I want to take some time to recognize comparison fatigue for what it is and identify ways to stop it before it saps our joy and confidence. Please note that while I did do research for this post, it was hard to find reputable sources. Therefore, I used a lot of AI summaries to pull together the following information, which is why there is a seeming lack of resource citations. Forgive me.

Identifying Comparison Fatigue

For starters, let's take a look at what exactly comparison fatigue is... it's a lot easier to combat something if we first know what we're looking for. Comparison fatigue isn't just noticing what other homeschooling families are doing; it's the exhaustion that comes from constantly measuring what you're doing against someone else's highlight reel (i.e., Instagram, Facebook... social media in general). In addition to what I shared above, comparison fatigue can also look like feeling behind even when your kids are learning and growing or carrying a low-level sense of failure that you can't quite explain. Side note, I struggle hard with feeling behind, especially when Maureen and I get together with her preschool friends who are preparing for public school. Okay, back to what I was saying... Over time, this kind of comparison has a tendency to steal the energy we might otherwise use for teaching, connecting, and enjoying our days. So why are homeschool moms so vulnerable to this?

Well, the fact is homeschooling places a significant amount of responsibility on a parent's - specifically the mom in this case - shoulders. As homeschool moms, we don't have a classroom door to close or school building to leave at the end of the day. We also don't have any "higher ups" (e.g., principals, superintendents, etc.) to look to for validation, which is something we, as humans, naturally crave to know we're doing a good job. As a result, it's easy to begin finding validation elsewhere... for example, in the well-meaning advice, social media influencers and groups, and in online communities we seek out and join with the intent of finding inspiration and encouragement for our homeschool. Unfortunately, even when these things prove helpful, too much input from any source can eventually start to blur personal instincts, leading to feelings of insecurity. Comparison fatigue as a homeschool mom often comes as the result of trying to hold onto and emulate too many of the "good homeschooling practices" we either observe on social media or receive as advice all at the same time. Eventually, this can lead to a negative perception of your personal homeschool setting and, as with anything, takes a toll on us.

The Hidden Cost of Constant Comparison

What is the cost of constant comparison, you ask? Let's take a look at some of the negative side effects of comparison.

It can...

• create unnecessary pressure to add more, even when your plate is already full.
• make you distrust rhythms and routines that are working for your family.
• turn inspiration into obligation.
• shift your focus away from your child and onto external benchmarks. Hello public school system!

The result of comparison isn't always motivation or inspiration. When done consistently, comparison leads to mental clutter, exhaustion, and overwhelm. So, how do we stop it? Well, it's not easy.

Stepping Out of Comparison Mode

Breaking free from comparison isn't about completely disconnecting. Instead, it's about refocusing and setting and maintaining intentional, healthy boundaries. Here are some suggestions for how you might begin to break free from comparison.

#1. Limit your input. When it comes to things such as social media, it's okay and even healthy to take breaks. A tool I use to help limit my social media intake is an app called Opal, which is a focus app that allows you to set specific chunks of time throughout the day when apps of your choosing are blocked from being used. For me, the apps I'm most susceptible to mindlessly using are social media and shopping apps like Amazon, so those are the apps I use Opal to block throughout the day. I've found that Opal has helped me to cut down how much time I'm spending mindlessly scrolling, leading to a decrease in my comparison mindset.

#2. Return to your why. Visual reminders of why you chose to homeschool are also great tools for breaking free from comparison. So, take some time to write down your why... Why did you choose to homeschool your kids? Write it down and stick it someplace where you'll see it everyday.

#3. Measure progress differently. Instead of asking, "How do we compare?" try asking, "Are my kids growing, learning, and supported?" Refocusing your thoughts on how your kids are truly doing can serve as a great reminder that progress in your home is going to look different from progress in someone else's home... that's okay!

#4. Choose a few trusted voices. Nobody needs advice from everyone, so select your "advice-givers" carefully, and limit it to a small number. Then, focus on your selected "advice-givers" and ignore the rest.

Finally, it's important to remember that success in homeschooling isn't found in perfectly curated days, impressive checklists, or Pinterest-worthy homeschool rooms. Success in homeschooling is found in consistency, adaptability, and most importantly, connection with your kids. So, give yourself grace and allow there to be different seasons within your homeschool era. Some seasons will be messy and seemingly unregulated while others will be smoother and more productive. That's okay. A homeschool that adapts to what works for your family isn't failing, it's functioning.

Final Reminder: For the days when comparison fatigue creeps back in, remember that it doesn't mean you're weak or ungrateful. It means you care deeply about your children and want the best for them... Go you, Mama!! So, step back, take a breath, and give yourself grace. You're building a homeschool that works for your family and the work you're doing behind the scenes is contributing to something much bigger than any single school year... your children's future.

Wrap-Up

Whew, that post was lengthier than I anticipated, but I felt it was important to include as much info as I could because comparison really is a battle everyone faces in today's society. If you're still here, thank you! Your support means the world to me, and I sincerely hope you found something useful in this post. As a reminder, I am not a medical professional. If you are suffering with moderate to severe symptoms, please seek out medical help. While I hope this post is able to help, I do not intend it to treat any medical condition such as depression or anxiety.

For more NEO Homeschool Connections, check out my Homeschool Happenings posts, linked here. Want an update on my daughter, Maureen's homeschool education? Click here. If you missed my 2025 year-end update, click here to catch up on what's been happening in my corner of NE Ohio, and if you want more Mom-It Monday posts, you'll find those here. Thanks for reading and see y'all back here on NEO Homeschool Connections real soon!